The ‘Silver’ Perspective on Dating After a Spouse Dies

(DGIwire) – Life can be hard when going it alone. After a spouse dies and the bereavement period has concluded, a widow or widower may feel the need to seek out a new companion. When the survivor is over age 55, this can seem like an especially daunting journey. But members of the Silver Disobedience™ movement—a large and growing group of men and women who are rebelling against ageism and living their life to the fullest—have plenty of insights that can guide the path to new romance.

“Those just going back on the dating scene should do it right,” says Caleb B, an expert in health and wellness at Maple Holistics. “That may mean paying greater attention to wardrobe, makeup, physical fitness and general attractiveness. People should take this as a chance to make themselves over in a positive way. At the same time, it’s crucial to have realistic expectations. Be aware of limits, boundaries, deal breakers concerning a partner, and anything else that applies to the situation.”

These points are amplified by Jonathan Bennett, co-director of Double Trust Dating. “Many older people haven’t gone on a date since Reagan was president. For those who have been out of the dating game for a long while, they have to realize that a lot has changed. On the down side, it’s faster-paced and more competitive. On the plus side, there are many more options to meet lots of people. A person isn’t limited to their local community group.”

“An older person may be more set in their ways, but they should make an attempt to get out of their comfort zone and date different types of people,” Caleb adds. “It’s never known in advance who or what might come along and make a difference for the better.”

Bennett agrees it is healthy to try to expand one’s horizons. “Dating in the past usually consisted of telephone calls, occasional letters and meeting up in person. Now there are numerous ways to connect with others, many of them instantly. Lots of people ages 55 and over are tech-literate already or interested in learning how to become tech-literate. If someone doesn’t at least attempt to use texting or social media, they may be overlooked by those who want to use that technology to communicate with others and possibly find new romance.”

He adds, “Someone in their mid-50s or older is no longer an awkward teenager who is clueless about dating. They should have a clear idea of their needs and what turns another person on. They should draw on their life experience, wisdom and confidence to make dating a positive experience.”

“Dating can be fun but it can also be an exhausting journey,” Caleb goes on to note. “A person should not force themselves into a situation or let it stress them out. Listen to opinions from friends and family as well—although it doesn’t mean that advice needs to be followed.”

Through a collective of branded @SilverDisobedience social media pages and traditional media outreach, the messages of Silver Disobedience are heard and acted upon by a powerful audience. Its Social Media #Influencer Status is helping new understandings about “those of a certain age.”

Sebastian Thaler, Editor,  DGIcomm contributed this article

close